There's No Planning Hype

People talk about how they wish people would stop hounding them about wedding stuff. They say that every which-way they turn there's someone telling them they need to do such-and-such because "that's just how it is." Or there's someone who wants them to plan a certain way, or have certain things, or this or that, yada yada yada. I have not been so "blessed." The most hounding I get from people is from some wedding planning websites who keep sending me emails, and invites to wedding expos the weekend after they happen. Yes, the other day I did have a good friend of mine ask how it was going and offer assistance. But this was a friend whom I hadn't seen in a year. There was no "You should do this, because..." It was honest and friendly. Beyond that; NO one seems to want to talk about it, unless I bring it up. Even then, it just seems like they're just tolerating me. It may be just my imagination, but I do feel that I'm the only one thinking about this wedding at all. It kind of feels like no one wants it to happen. Either that, or they just don't think it will. And now I'm starting to think the same. The more and more we put off talking about and planning the wedding, for reasons such as this, that, and the other, the more and more we get closer to nothing being set in stone. I really hate the fact that I've started thinking of already having my wedding dress as a bad thing, and a setback. Why on earth should that disappoint me? Probably because I don't think anyone believes I can do it. They don't think I can plan a wedding and pull it off. And if they don't believe I can do it, they actually just don't believe in me. I don't want to plan something just to prove "them" wrong. I guess the truth seems to be that I don't believe it'll happen. I don't believe in me.