You know what I hate?! When plans get thwarted. Not only do you not get the carry out your plans, you look like a big, fat, stupid liar to those you told your plans to. I didn't mean to let my plans get thwarted. I am probably more upset than you, that I'm not able to do them any more. I wish it wasn't working out this way, but seriously, sometimes life happens. Sometimes life happens a little more often to some people. Sometimes It's a bit more cruel than it is to others. Regardless of the reasons or circumstances, life has been happening to me. And there is no doubt in my mind that people are forming opinions about me, based on how my plans keep changing. Why is that, you ask? Because these people whom I think are opinioning, are the same people who opinion about other people in my presence. The same exact reason why I am almost 100% certain that my old boss has talked unjust trash about me. She talked trash about my predecessor. This whole thing, the thwarting of plans and reneging of promises, it lets you know people a bit better. It shows you who you can really trust and count on. And who you shouldn't tell your secrets to. It shows you who you were right about choosing as your friends. It also helps you figure out what it is you really want. Or the opposite; it lets you know that you don't know what you want at all. I've been in the boat of not knowing what I want for a long time. But there are certain things that I put a lot of energy into accomplishing. I set goals and some of those goals have been trod upon. Though they were goals I set out of logic and necessity, I'm thoroughly upset that I can no longer travel the path I was on, towards attaining them. If I truly do want them, I am going to have to change coarse, compromise, and figure out what parts of my goals I can let go of, and what parts of them I actually do want. My problem now is having No idea how to figure out what I really do want. How do I differentiate between what I want because I want it, and what I want because I think I'm supposed to want it...
